love yourself

I locked myself in the bathroom.
Sitting in the corner, crying my heart out.
I hated my life, I hated myself.
I was in pain, I was suffering.
Everything seemed to be wrong.
My life was crashing down on me.
My eyes were swollen and my head was pounding.
I was buried in my own tears.
I could barely open my eyes, breathing was difficult.
The pain was inexplicable.

My sister knocked on the door.
I was sharing a room with her and I locked the bedroom door.
She was angry because she couldn't come into the room.
After 5 minutes of furious knocks, I opened the bedroom door and ran back into the bathroom.
I thought she wouldn't bother about me, but she knocked on the bathroom door and tried to talk to me.
Finally I opened the door and let her in.
In between sobs I told her how much I hated this, how no one could understand me.
I told her no one loves me anymore. I don't have any friends, everyone thinks I am a freak
I told her that I wanted all these to stop. I hated feeling so helpless and most of all, I feel sorry for my parents for having to deal with this kind of daughter.
She talked to me nicely, hugged me and said something that I remember till this day.
" You don't even love yourself, how do you expect other people to love you?"

Since then, whenever I feel down because I think that no one cares, that I am alone in this world, I will always think about what my sister had said.
And it's true, I don't even love myself, how can I expect people to feel the same?

So yeah, this post is just to remind me to love myself.
:)
Thanks jie.

p/s: I am fine! Not feeling emo or anything. Just want to share this with others.